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  • Bebe: [walking around in a small circle in the Lady of Guadalupe cemetery] Ahh, nothing quite like relaxing stroll [deep voice] deep [normal] in Lady of Guadalpe cemetery. [a high pitched scream in the distance] I'd know that sound anywhere! It’s a terrifying shriek! But where’s it coming from? [She looks from behind a tombstone and finds Carlos shrieking] Carlos, what is with all the shrieking? You know I walk here on Tuesdays.
  • Carlos: Sorry, Bebe. That wasn’t me.
  • Ramon: Carlos, I know I heard a terrifying shriek.
  • Kayla: So did I, Ramon, but I was just mimicking it.
  • Melanie: [Jorge mimicking] So, you were mimicking it. Jorge, please don’t do that. It is really… [terrifying shriek]
  • Bebe: Wait a minute, if the shriek wasn’t coming from you, then where was it…it’s over there, behind that coffin! [a giant chihuahua behind the coffin is shrieking]
  • Bebe: The terrifying shriek must’ve come from this chihuahua. [the chihuahua starts coughing violently]
  • Carlos: No! You always give a choking victim the Muertelich Maneuver, first! And if that doesn’t work, you walk away and pretend like you never saw them before. [walks behind the chihuahua] Like this! Ready, chihuahua?[grabs the chihuahua, tries to lift it, sprains his back, and screams in pain]
  • Carlos: Well, Bebe, I think I might go catch a movie.
  • Bebe: Hey, what about the chihuahua?
  • Carlos: What chihuahua? I’ve never seen that chihuahua before in my life.
  • Bebe: But if…[the chihuahua spits out baby bones much to Bebe's horror]
  • Bebe: Carlos, the chihuahua had a baby!
  • Carlos: That’s not a baby, Bebe.
  • Bebe: Well, then, what could it be?
  • Carlos: I’ll give you a hint: what’s white, shiny, and comes out of chihuahua?
  • Bebe: Their...bones?
  • Carlos: No, silly! A tennis ball!
  • Bebe: A baby tennis ball![at Muerte Harbor Tennis Center]
  • Harold: I got it! Ugh!
  • Bebe: Good idea coming here, Carlos.
  • Carlos: That’s my specialty.
  • Ramon: Having good ideas?
  • Carlos: No, being called Carlos.
  • Kayla: Maybe we should do some stretches, first.
  • Melanie: Good idea!
  • Jorge: Well, that’s my specialty.
  • Carlos: Having good ideas?
  • Kayla: Nope, doing some stretches, first.[appraisal clerk talking on phone]
  • Clerk: Yeah…no…I don’t know, the thing’s a hundred years old, how should I know? Yeah, alright, look, if you don’t want it… [sees Carlos' baby bone. dreamily] Uh-huh…yeah…we’ll see…Huh, yeah. I’m…I’m…I’m still here. [hangs up]
  • Carlos: 138, 139,
  • Clerk: Gentlemen.
  • Ramon: Hello.
  • Clerk: I couldn’t help noticing what a lovely ball that is.
  • Carlos: Oh, really?
  • Clerk: Yes. I’d sure like to get a closer look.
  • Jorge: We don’t mind, do we Carlos?
  • Carlos: Well, just don’t take too long. We were just about to start playing with it.
  • Clerk: Oh, it uh…it won’t take long at all. [picks up bone] Ooh, it’s heavier than I imagined. And, uh, shinier, too. Where’d you find it?
  • Bebe: We found it deep in the cemetery.
  • Clerk: Really? What was it doing there?
  • Kayla: Choking a chihuahua.
  • Clerk: Well, um…ahem…what would you say if I were to offer you a small fortune in exchange for your shiny bone?
  • Melanie: What do you mean, ‘small fortune?’[hundreds of trucks bring cash to Carlos' house while The Muerte gang eat Jerky]
  • Bebe: Whoa. How many more trucks do you think there’ll be, Carlos?
  • Carlos: Huh? Oh, I don’t know. I am getting kinda hungry, though. I’ll catch up with you later, Bebe.[last truck leaves]
  • Bebe: Well, that looked like the last of them.
  • Carlos: The last of what?
  • Bebe: Hey, Carlos, I know a good place to go when you don’t know what to buy.
  • Carlos: You do?
  • Kayla: The mall! [The Muerte gang go to the mall]
  • Both: Whoo![Bebe throws a baseball glove at Carlos]
  • Both: Touchdown!![Melanie and Kayla go look at baby skulls]
  • Both: Aw! [Melanie and Kayla pick skulls as hairclips]'[Ramon and Jorge go to listen to headphones. Jorge’s headphones work, but Ramon’s don't play any music. He pulls at the cord without realizing that both their headphones are connected, and Jorge's head pulls off. Ramon puts it back on, and Jorge puts his hand on Ramon's shoulder. they head home]
  • Bebe: Carlos, that was the best shopping day ever!
  • Carlos: You can say that again!
  • Bebe: Best shopping day ever! Carlos, I got an idea!
  • Suzie Fondos de níquel :(mocking) best shopping day ever hahahahaha.
  • Bebe: oh hi Suzie my arch rival from preschool,we're going shopping again! And this time, buy stuff [Suzie growls and they head home from the mall with shopping carts and money sticking out of their clothes]
  • Carlos: Yup!
  • Kayla: So tell me, what’d you buy?
  • Melanie: A lifetime supply of strawberry gum!
  • Ramon: Hey, me, too! And to think we barely even put a dent in my fortune [at an ice cream stall]
  • Carlos: Two, please: one for me and one for my best friend, Bebe.
  • Lou: I didn’t really ask who they were for.
  • Carlos: Thanks. [gives him a wad of bills] There you go.
  • Lou: It was only fifty-nine cents for the ice cream.
  • Bebe: Oh, that’s okay. I kinda have more money than I know what to do with right now.
  • Suzie: [laughing]Looks like my mother was wrong. I am compete againist you, Calavera Muerte.
  • Bill: Uh, triple-blueberry sundae, please. Extra nuts.
  • Lou: Sure. That’s gonna be $2.98.
  • Bill: Uh…hey Bert, you got like eight cents I can borrow?
  • Bert: Yeah, let me check…no, I don’t, Bill, Sorry.
  • Bill: You know, why is it I always have money when you need to borrow it?
  • Bert: Well, I don’t know what to say…I…
  • Bebe: Are you gentlemen low on funds? Let me help. [gives wad to Bill] Here you go.
  • Bill: Whoa. Uh, t-that’s okay, I just need eight cents.
  • Bebe: That’s okay, I already got my ice cream. See?
  • Bill: Okay, um…thanks.
  • Bebe: Sure thing. Do you need some, too, Bert?
  • Suzie:aww nice hat.
  • Bebe: Okay! [crowd leaves with Suzie]'[Carlos knocks on Suzie's mansion]
  • Butler: Hmm…yes?
  • Carlos: Uh…I’m here to see Suzie.
  • Butler: And are you on the guest list, sir?
  • Carlos: Well, I don’t think so. Normally, I…
  • Butler: Well, then, I’m afraid I can’t let you in, sir. Good day, sir.
  • Carlos: Good day. Uh, your shoe’s untied.
  • Butler: Hmm, right-o, it is. [Carlos walks inside] Thank you, sir.
  • Carlos: Uh, hey suzie?[Carlos gives Suzie a makeover][crowd laughs]
  • Suzie: i'm gonna kill you![crowd runs away in terror]aaaaah,MY STUFF!! (She starts to panic.) Oh, my gosh! We’ve been robbed! And they took all my— (She tumbles down the dais and runs across the room.) All the stuff! They couldn’t have taken— (now o.c.) —all the—I mean—how could—
  • Bebe: Don’t be late for competion tomorrow, Creepy Suzie.
  • Carlos: Well, why didn’t you say so, buddy? I’ve been waiting for someone to go break in my new volleyball with!
  • Bebe: You got another new volleyball?

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